A Letter to My Boy on His First Birthday

To my sweet baby boy on your first birthday,

I cannot believe that 365 days have passed since you officially joined our family. Truly you were making yourself well known before your grand entrance. I'll never forget your kicks, hiccups, and barrel rolls in my belly. But on May 28, 2017 at 12:56 am you made yourself known. 

Around 2:10 am, I was rolled out to finally meet you. Daddy held you up to my face and I fell in love instantly. That doesn't happen for every mommy but for me it did.

And for the last 365 days, that love has changed me in so, so many ways that all I can think of is to be thankful.

Thank you for teaching me to be soft. I like to think I'm a tough guy (even though those who know me know that inside I'm a lot mushier than I let on). But you have taught me that it's ok to be soft and a new side of me has grown because you are here.

Thank you for helping me learn to trust myself. Being a mommy is so scary. You've made it so easy on me though. You have reassured me that I'm doing the right thing by responding so sweetly when I care for you. 

Thank you for teaching me (some) patience. Not with you, but with me and with life. Mom can have a hard time waiting sometimes. But being pregnant with you taught me that some things are so worth the wait. And being your mom has taught me to give myself some grace too which has been a hard lesson to learn.

Thank you for letting me see your daddy in a whole new way. We really loved each other before you came along. So much so that we wanted to share our love and bring you into the world. Just before you were born I was so nervous that me and Daddy would never get back to where we were before. But where we are now is even better than what that was, all because of you.

Thank you for being you. Your little personality is absolutely amazing. You love to play and have fun. You flash the most sincere, sparkling smile I've ever seen. I thought I knew how to have fun before you came along but that stuff doesn't hold a candle to watching you explore and learn and giggle. You're a lad who knows his mind and isn't afraid to tell us how he feels. I'm going to love watching you become a man.

Most of all.... thank you so much for picking me to be your mom. Thank you for giving me the biggest honor and best job I'll ever have. Thank you for giving me the privilege of witnessing your life. I hope you know that I'm always doing the best I can and my love for you can only continue to grow with each passing day.

Happy first birthday, buddy.