Episode #7: The Dad Perspective
Aired May 3, 2018
By far, this has been the episode that has gotten the most feedback. Listen for only a few minutes and you'll realize that my husband is a saint on Earth for managing pregnant Karen! He was such a gracious guest even though this was a little out of his comfort zone. The comforting aspect was that we were talking about our shared experiences starting a family and our first year raising our son which made for an easy conversation between us.
Fred reveals that he definitely always wanted to be a dad so deciding to start a family was really a no-brainer for both of us. What we hadn't counted on was how long it would take us. We also had no idea that we'd experience the devastation that comes from losing the hopes and dreams that so quickly conjure in your mind when you see that positive test. I had always known what that experience was like on my end but recording this episode was the first time I really learned what it was like for Fred and how strong he had to be for me at that time in our relationship. When you're the one physically feeling the loss of the pregnancy, it's easy to get wrapped up in how it affects you. I was really grateful for this opportunity to hear how our pregnancy losses affected him.
In a way, I'm thankful for those times. They illustrated how strong our relationship is; they lead me down a path and towards friendships and relationships I might never have had; and they certainly remind me of how precious it is for our little boy to finally be here with us.
Once we actually had a successful pregnancy, we created quite a few memories that leave us in stitches laughing now. You have to listen in to hear the whole story but they involved zucchini, a steep staircase, and an Allman Brothers song. How's that for a teaser?
Major take aways from this episode:
Check in with your partner. As the pregnant one sometimes it feels like the world revolves around you. Open the dialogue with your partner to see how the changes are affecting them too!
Be thankful! This one is much easier in hindsight. But I truly believe that every experience is building you up to who you are meant to be. If not for our losses, I don't know if FYM would even be here or if I'd be the mom and wife I am today.
Have fun! TTC, pregnancy, parenting - all TOUGH. Make sure you have fun with it sometimes. Laugh it off. Seek out the humor in crazy situations.
Tell your stories together. Fred and I might be "that" couple but I think it's our thing. We love to tell stories and interject our individual perspectives, especially when the other one is telling the strong wrong ;). I find it so funny to see the same situation through his eyes and I feel so connected to him when we are able to tell about our shared experiences together.